Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Okay, Here I Go

I need to give just a little background on my mom before I really start writing about her current situation.
My mom brought the three of us kids back home to live with her parents and older sister when I was about 7 years old.  We lived next door to my aunt, uncle, and 5 cousins.  My grandfather and uncle died when I was still very young.  Then, my aunt died when her youngest son had just turned 12 and her next to youngest was 16.  My mom moved into their house and finished their "raisin".  I was a freshman in college at that time.
Then, my  grandmother died a couple of years later.  Next, my aunt, who was my mom's older sister, and who never married, moved in with Mother.  She had lots of health issues so Mother took care of her over about a 15 year span.
Mother was unusual in that she went off to college in the 40s.  She had a degree in zoology and microbiology.  Then she went to Atlanta where she trained to be a lab technician.  That's where she met my dad.  They married and moved back to the small town where we live now.  The marriage was not a good one (this is fodder for another whole blog...... maybe someday), and after only about 13 years is when Mother left him.  She waited 7 more years before divorcing him, though, because she believed that divorce was "WRONG".  She was convinced that our dad could get custody of us if anything happened to her if she didn't go ahead with the divorce.
Even though she was very independent in so many ways, she didn't learn to drive till she was 40 years old.  We lived in town, close enough to walk to school, church, the grocery store, etc..... So we walked.  If we had to go somewhere too far to walk, one of our aunts took us.
Then, Mother decided it was time to learn to drive, and drive she did.  After teaching science in high school for several years (she had to go back to college to get her certification), she got a  job with the Department Of Children's Services.  She worked with families with abused and neglected children.  There were many nights that the police would accompany her to some one's house to pick up children who needed placement in a foster home.  There were times she had to go to the jail in the middle of the night to rescue a child whose parents had been arrested.
She was on every committee at church and very involved in the women's group.  She was in the church every time the doors were open.
She was always available for babysitting my 3 daughters and my sister's 2 daughters whenever we needed her.  She loved having the girls spend the night with her.  They laugh about how she always fixed the same foods for them because once she learned something they liked she didn't want to disappoint them.  She also let them watch whatever they wanted on tv, unlike their mom!!
After she retired, she served on the foster care review board, and did other types of charitable works.
I tell you this background on my mom before I start writing about her situation now, so that you have an idea of the kind of lady she was and still is somewhere deep down inside of her.

Tomorrow I will begin trying to get inside her head to tell you about the lady she is now!


  1. Julia, your mother sounds like an amazing woman. I think you are a wonderful daughter to care for you sweet mother. Your post showed me how much you love this woman who has inspired you so much. You are a blessing.

  2. Julia- your Mom sounds a little like mine. My Mom does not have the education- but so many horrible things happened to her throughout her life and she just keep plugging along- helping others out when we could use the help ourselves. I think Mom's like this make us strong women ourselves and install a compassion in us at an early age. To echo Goosegirl- your Mom sounds amazing.

  3. What a wonderful thing to do. At my age of 75 I wonder if I will ever be in a nursing home. The years seem to go by so fast. My mother was in a nursing home also but far away from where I lived. I only saw her maybe twice a month. It was okay, she didn't seem to mind it but she would never complain. I would but not her. I resented the fact that a male nurse would shower her. But her modesty was gone. She lived till she was 88.
    I do enjoy your writings, keep it up.
    Your mom indeed led a full and interesting life so far.