Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Painting and Mother
On Sunday, my cousin and his wife went to visit Mother. She was crying when they got there. She asked them to get her out of the "mud?". Then she just begged them to take her out of there. When they asked her where she wanted to go, she said she didn't care, that anywhere but there would be ok. She reached out to my cousin and asked him to take her home. When he told her he couldn't, she told him she would never forgive him if he wouldn't take her away from there. He was crushed. He didn't quite know what to say or do. I wouldn't have known what to say either.
Other than this incident, though, she's been relatively calm for going on a week. She is very drugged, though. What's best for her? Who knows, but I think she is better off being drugged than being scared and agitated. When she gets anxious, she cries and screams. So, I really think she's better off on this medicine. I never thought I would say that!
While I was painting lots of the residents sat inside where they could watch me. There's one lady, Faye, who never talks and rarely changes her expression. She just wheels herself all over the nursing home, running into things, etc..... She wheeled up to the window shown here next to the front door and reached out her hand toward me. I put my hand on the window and she put hers over mine. I was so surprised that she and I made this connection. She doesn't ever seem to be aware of what is going on around her.
Another lady stood at the door. She wanted out, desperately. She doesn't really talk, but she would make gestures to tell me that she wanted me to open the door. I just told her it was locked and that I couldn't open it. At one point, when someone else went through the door, she followed him outside. A couple of nurses came running to get her.
There's a gentleman who will ask everyone he sees to please get him a telephone so he can call his son to come and get him. Or, he will ask people to call his son for him. He stood at the door while I was painting the flag and begged me to open the door so he could go home. It was awful!!!! That door stays locked. To open it from outside there is a button to push. It won't open, though, if a "wanderer" is standing or sitting close by. Some residents wear a thing around their ankle that sends a signal to the door not to open. An alarm will sound if one of them does get outside, though.
Today, there was a gospel group all the way from GA that came to sing with the residents. A lot of the folks were sitting out on the front porch while they played their guitars and keyboard and sang. The residents sang along with them a lot of the time. It was so much fun to watch this. I was painting the dining room windows while they sang.
Mother wasn't out there. I really think she could have enjoyed this today. The CNAs have gotten so used to her not being able to even go to the dining room or anywhere out of her room, that I guess they didn't think about taking her. She used to want to be included in EVERYTHING going on. She did get to eat lunch in the dining room today! Thank God for small blessings.
On another subject.......one of my best friends, who I've known since we were babies in the church nursery together over 50 years ago, lost her husband to cancer yesterday. He found out in January that he had this horrible disease. It was already spread so much that there was never any real hope that he would get well. My friend, herself, has dealt with breast cancer and diabetes. I spent the night at her house so many times. We called her mom, Hot Roding Mama, because she was our youth leader when we were teens. She drove like a mad woman, or at least we teased her and said she did. She still sings in the church choir and sits right in front of me. Love her. Prayers for the whole family. My friend and her husband have two grandsons, one is only a couple of months old.