More from mother's view...........

I'm going to try to summarize and capture the events and the thoughts that went through Mother's head when she moved to the nursing home she's in now.

Me to Mother - Since S is moving to __ maybe you should move to a nursing home that is closer to me.  I've been to ones in ______________, ______________, _______________, and in ______________. (All the nursing homes in towns between where she was and my home town, which is about a 60 mile distance.)  I really think the one at home is the best choice.  What do you think?

Mother - I don't want to move to that one, because it's awful!  Remember how bad it was when your Aunt C was there?  I don't want to go to the  one in _________________ either.  But, whatever is best for you.

Me - I've been to all of these different nursing homes, and really the one at home is as good if not better than the others.  They have a new director and everyone says it is so much better than it used to be.  And, K__H__ is a nurse there, and G__H__, and J__H__, and P__T__, and .........................  (These are all people she has known all her life.  There are more than this who she knew, as well.)

Mother - Well, whatever you say.......................

Later - Mother's thoughts.................I guess it doesn't matter where I am.  If I have to be in a nursing home what difference does it make.  Julia says the one at home has changed.  I trust her, so I guess I'll just go to that one if I have to move to another one.  I could just stay here.  I really like L, (the CNA who took care of her most often).  I really don't know why I have to move.  B still lives here, and he can come to see me everyday.  But, Julia has to drive so far.  I hate for her to do that.  And, B still works and Julia is retired so I guess it makes sense.  I wish S wasn't moving, but she needs to because her health is so bad.  I guess I'll just tell them to move me back home.

A few days later Mother is moved by ambulance to the nursing home that is only 5 minutes from my house.  Her first room is tiny!!  Her roommate is a lady she's known all her life who broke her hip and had just moved in that day, too.  Did I mention that the room was tiny?  I mean, you could barely get the gerry chair that mother had to have in the room and between the beds.  The bed was a manual hand cranked relic.  We asked to have Mother put on the waiting list for a bigger room and to get her a bed she could operate herself.   She did get a new, somewhat larger room after just a few weeks, but that meant not being with this lady who she had known forever.  But, she knew her new roommate, too.  She had worked with this lady's daughter.  (It's a small town!)  The room was a little bigger and was satisfactory for a while.

But..................

Mother's thoughts..................... I wish I wasn't in the last room down this long hallway.  I think the nurses and aides forget I'm here sometimes, and I'm always the last one they come to get for dinner and activities.  I really don't like this room.  Ms. C, (her roommate) keeps getting into my stuff.  I saw her eating some of my candy.  When I tell her it's mine, she just looks at me and eats it anyway.  I've told Julia that I don't like this room, but she doesn't seem to believe me about being the last one they get to and all that.  I wish she would take up for me more.  It seems like she just believes everything the people here tell her.  She doesn't believe that I'm the last one who gets fed at meal times when she's not here, either.
Me to staff members - Mother tells me she is usually the last one who ya'll get ready for meals and activities, and that she's always the last one fed when I'm not here.

Staff members (different ones at different times) - She's right.  We start at the other end of the hall and since she's in the last room, she is the last one we get to.  And, since she's not diabetic, she does get fed toward the end of the meals.  We have to feed the diabetics first.

Me - Couldn't the CNAs rotate which end of the hall they start on each day?  Couldn't Mother be one of the first, who's not diabetic, to be fed?

Staff - Well, we should do it that way, but we don't.

So, I just made sure I was always there for nearly every meal.  That way she could be fed as soon as her tray came out.

A month or so after the move to this new room.......................

Mother - "Did you know that Honey (my grandmother who died in 1972) came to see me today?"

Me to floor nurse - Mother is confused today, that always means she has a UTI. Would you do a urinalysis on her today?

Nurse - Oh, okay.

Next day - Mother is still confused.

Me - Did you get the urinalysis done?

Nurse  No, not yet.  We couldn't get her to pee when we tried.

Me - Please try again.  I know that she has a UTI because that's the only time she gets confused like this, and if it doesn't get stopped she'll just get a whole lot worse.

Nurse  - Sure.  (But she didn't and Mother did get worse!)

Mother - Tell those children to stop running around and making so much noise.  Did you see those little girls jumping out of that doll house hanging on my wall?  I need to go to Mother's funeral (my grandmother died in 1972).  Please get me dressed so I can go to Mother's funeral.  Why won't anyone get me dressed?  Help me!  Help!  Help....................... on and on

Nurse K  calls me to tell me that Mother needs to go to the hospital.  Well, of course she does.  The UTI has gotten really bad!!!

The hospital stay was short.  The doctors got her on antibiotics, and changed every other medicine she was on, as well (another story for another day).  

When she came back to the nursing home, they asked if I wanted her in still another room.  Yea!!!  This room was on a different hall, and were still a little bigger than even the 2nd one she was in.  And, she would be just a few doors down from an outside door and the nurses station.  This was great news.  I love the CNAs and floor nurses on this hall.  My sister doesn't have so far to walk when she comes, and with her health issues that's important.  But, mostly I was happy because she would not always be last to go to the dining room, etc......................

To be continued.........................