Thursday, July 29, 2010

I Can Hear Myself in My Daughter

A couple of days ago, Lil E, our almost 3 year old granddaughter, who just became a big sis, was whining about something.  We were having trouble understanding what she was saying.  Her mom kept saying, "Lil E, you have to talk in your normal voice and stop crying so we can understand what it is you want."  Oh my, that's exactly what I've been saying to my mother lately.  It really hit me how the circle of life goes from babyhood, to childhood, to adulthood, and back to babyhood ( if a person lives long enough.)  I hope I don't live that long!  I hope that whatever age I am when all that begins is the last age I attain!  My mom feels that way, too.  The other day, when she was having a really good day, she was bemoaning the fact that she couldn't do anything for herself anymore, that she has to rely completely on others for her EVERY need.  She wanted shoes, which she hasn't worn in about three years because she can't walk.  She wanted her pocketbook, which I keep at my house, because someone at the nursing home might take it. (I actually took one of her pocketbooks to her.  I just put some stuff in it along with her billfold that had nothing of importance in it, but she knew the difference and it was not the RIGHT purse.  Oh well, I tried.)   She wanted her phone, which we disconnected because she can't hear to talk on it anymore.  She wanted me to leave her some checks, which I can't do because they might be stolen.  She wanted lots and lots of things and to do things that she can't do anymore.  It is so hard to see my mom so helpless and sad.  I'd rather see her doped up so that she doesn't know what's happening.  I guess that's mean of me to say, but it is true!!

Life does continue to cycle, as I said.  We have a new little granddaughter who was born just a few days ago.  She is beautiful and so calm!  I wrote a little more about her on my other blog that's linked at the top right of this one.


  1. I've been thinking this same thing- how the circle of life progresses and the people that care for us as children are the people we end up caring for as adults. I hope I touch someone's life enough that they will want to care for me- that is my biggest fear and the thing I try to remember when my MIL is especially mean and challenging. Your Mom is so lucky to have you Julia- and I don't think it's mean of you to say you would rather have her doped up- it's painful to see our parents go through this stage- but the wonderful thing is that your Mom has such a wonderful person taking care of her and loving her through all of this ♥

  2. Again, I say, I understand. I've been there. I know it is heartbreaking to see your mom so unhappy and frustrated. Know that you are a ray of sunshine in her day. Know that you are guided by God's love and that you are God's expression of peace and love to your mom. YOU, my dear, are a great blessing! Please take care of YOU, too!

    "Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life." Proverbs 4:23