Tuesday, October 26, 2010

A week later...........

For the most part I am doing really well since Mother's death.  The first few days were a whirlwind of activity with our family and friends being at our house.  We had to make the arrangements and actually go through the service and celebration of Mother's Life.  That was the easy part.
Mother's service was Monday evening, the 18th.  On Tuesday morning, two of our daughters and their families left to get back to jobs and school.  Our other daughter's family left on Wednesday.  My brother, sister, and cousins also had to get back home.  So, our house is really quiet!!!
I've been back to the nursing home twice (this was harder than I thought it would be): once to take some cake for the staff, and the other time to take a few pieces of Mother's clothing to a few special residents who I knew would enjoy them.  One lady likes sparkly, pretty things.  Mother had a black sweater with gold sparkly thread woven in a beautiful design.  I knew that Shirley would enjoy wearing it.  A couple of the ladies are always cold, so I took them some of Mother's jackets and the shawls that I had made for Mother.  I kept the one that I had made with the appliqued quilt blocks. 
Then, I took some of her clothes and some of my mother-in-law's clothes to a charitable organization that all of the community churches run together.  Folks come there to buy or be given clothing, food, and household goods.  I learned the other day that over 2,000 folks are served there monthly!!! 
I have written lots of thank you notes, and have more to write.  Many people are making contributions to our church in Mother's memory.  We asked for that in lieu of flowers.
Going to church Sunday was hard.  I have so many memories of Mother tied to the church and to her friends who are still there.
I've handled more of Mother's financial "stuff".  Most of that is done, I think.  I haven't contacted SS or her retirement office yet, I guess I need to do that today.   I'm just waiting on the death certificates to come and to hear from the funeral home, as to whether her insurance has covered her funeral expenses. 
So, I have been busy, but not too much so.  I have had time to sew; check out my other blog that is linked on my sidebar to see the Christening gown I just finished.  Life does go in cycles, doesn't it?  I've been working on things for the end of Mother's life and the beginning of another beautiful little life at the same time.
Sleeping seems to be my only problem.  When I go to bed and close my eyes, I "see" Mother as she was on that last night, and during the past few months (nearly a year), rather than how she used to be.  I am trying to "see" those earlier visions, and I am making some headway.  I do need to get a little more sleep.  I understand that bad memories fade and that the good ones take over, with time.  I believe that.
My mind has been a little foggy at times, for instance, when I went to the bank today and locked my keys in my car.  My family will tell you that is nothing unusual for me, though.


  1. My heart goes out to you. What you said is so true.
    When my mom died, she had been in ICU for 6 1/2 weeks enduring all kinds of tests and procedures, and it was just dreadful. She was sedated, but I was there the whole time.
    For the longest time, that's all I could think about and relive in my mind, but slowly those bad memories have faded, and everytime I see something that belonged to her, I think about when she was in her happier state. Or when the kids do something cute, and I think about how she would have laughed.
    It's not easy, but it will get better.
    Many hugs,

  2. I have to echo the same Julia- perhaps it is part of the grieving process? When my Dad (step-dad) died I kept dreaming he was really alive and just hiding from us because he was so sick. I kept seeing him the way he was in the hospital those last weeks in every single dream. Eventually it did go away and now I remember the wonderful special memories and don't think of the hospital at all. I wish I could come over for some tea and we could talk about some of those great memories together. I've been thinking about you so much- I am glad you posted ♥ xxxxoooo

  3. Those visions you see at sleep will eventually pass Julia. I never saw either my mother or father (a long story)after they passed so all I can remember is smiling faces last time I saw them. Maybe going to the nursing home now is a little too much for you to bear right now.