Beauty Pageant

What fun some of the ladies had at the nursing home yesterday.  I didn't get to stay for the actual event, and Mother was in no condition to participate, but they had a beauty pageant.  People brought in formal gowns for the residents to wear.  They got their hair and make up done and paraded around the dining room in their wheelchairs, using their walkers, or canes.  They were so pretty and so proud of their "prettiness"!  Mother would have had fun with this.  I just wish she could have been a part of it.  I took in a few of her dresses that she has worn for weddings, etc......, but others wore them. 
I'm going to try for just a minute to get into her head again.  It's been a while since I've tried this.

Since I've been home...........

"Please leave me alone!  Don't put anymore food in my mouth.  I HATE breakfast! (this was at dinner time)  I just wish you would stop!"  

Why are they making me eat this awful slop?
"Just give me juice!"  "I want that cherry!" (there was no cherry on the tray) "I see it right there (pointing at her water mug), it says S.H.A., S.H. A., S. H. A.................................(over and over)." 
 Why doesn't she understand that I want that water and I can't think of the word for it.

"Take your hand off my chin!(when I was trying to turn her head so I could get a straw in her mouth)  "You are just mean!"  "I HATE breakfast! (it was dinnertime)

I don't understand why this woman keeps trying to make me eat and drink.  I don't want anything.

"Rub my back, please rub my back, I said rub my back, now, rub my back. There's a block behind my back."

If only she understood how bad my back hurts.  And besides, if she's rubbing my back she won't leave me here by myself.  I'm so homesick.  Why won't they take me to the dining room. (Mother hasn't been out of her room for weeks now because of her yelling.)

"My feet are swollen, there's a rope tied around my feet. Take it off!" REPEAT, REPEAT, REPEAT......................

Why can't she see that rope and take it off of my feet.  Why does she keep telling me that there isn't a rope and that my feet aren't swollen.  I can feel my own feet can't I?  I think I know how they feel.  Why won't she go get a nurse to help me.  I really do need help and I need someone to sit with me.  I'm so scared.  I'm so scared.  I'm so scared.  I'm so ALONE!

Her roommate..........."Daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy,   come here daddy.  My feet hurt.  Daddy, daddy.  Oh, my back.......................etc......................................................................."

I asked Mother if she knew who I was and she looked up and yelled, "YOU. ARE. MY. MOTHER!"
Why would my own Mother think that I don't know her!  

I told Mother that I needed to leave to go to church Wed. evening.  As soon as I was out of the room, she started yelling and crying, so I went back. 

"Why did you come back?  Why didn't you go to church?  You said you were leaving.  Get out of here and go to church."

I told her that I couldn't go as long as she was crying and screaming.

"I promise I will be good.  I promise I will stop screaming(actually screaming these words at me)!  I promise, I promise, I promise, now GO TO CHURCH!"

I told her I would go if she would be quiet for 5 minutes. 
SHE WAS!
I went out of the room and waited another 5 minutes. 
SHE WAS STILL QUIET!  
I went to church and called the nursing home afterwards to see how she had done.
They had not heard a peep out of her!
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Of course, I have no idea what is really going through her head, but it helps to try to "get it"!